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©2018 by Homespun.

Hearts Like Wildflowers

Updated: Feb 2, 2019

There are years that ask questions and years that answer.

{Zora Neal Hurston}

A look back...

This week I have been in a very deep place. It has almost seemed like I have been cycling through and witnessing all the hurts, angers, resentments, and fears I have experience in the last few years. All the lessons, the growth, things I thought I had moved past were alive and well in my body and mind, as if I were experiencing them all over again for the first time.

Perhaps it has something to do with the current moon phase. As I continue to become more attuned to the powerful rhythms of Mother Nature and purpose to draw closer to her wisdom, I notice that I am becoming more aware of the powerful ebbs and flows - the cycles - of our entire lives. During the last quarter phase, the waning gibbous moon's releasing energy reaches its peak. It is a time to confront obstacles that are holding you back. It is a time to give up bad habits and remove yourself from unhealthy situations. It is a time to review and clearly communicate your boundaries, or end toxic relationships. A time to unburden yourself of regrets, grudges, anger, and guilt. It is a time to obtain closure by speaking honestly to anyone you have unresolved issues with, forgiving others, forgiving yourself, and apologizing. It is the perfect time for a releasing ritual, so I gathered to myself the necessary ingredients and walked through cleansing fire.

Balance is what I intend to focus on this year. I do not mean balance in the sense of "being perfect" or doing "all the things." Instead, it is about the process of removing everything that no longer serves me, my family, and our plans for the future. To assist me in working though this process of finding balance, I have chosen to focus on LESS EQUALS MORE this Winter. Essentially, finding my center. Much purging, organizing, minimizing, saying "no", saying "yes", nourishing my body, focusing on rhythm and routines, identifying energy and time killers, and goal setting. Finding the right balance of what is most important in our lives.

This is my year of answers, which means I have work to do. Lots of work. I wrote the following as a note to myself, to remind me to stay the course of this focus....

Be a walking contradiction. Be strong and soft. Be deep and lighthearted. Be beautiful and intelligent. Be confident and humble. Be someone with quick wit and a cheap sense of humor. Be content climbing a mountain and enjoying the sweetness of doing absolutely nothing.

The world may try to classify you as one thing, because that is far easier to understand than a person who has a little bit of everything in them. And, you may feel misunderstood for awhile, but just remember your people can only find you IF you are brave enough to be yourself. There are parts of you that you have yet to discover. There is greater love that you have yet to find. There are experiences that are far beyond your imagination. And, it is all waiting - just. for. you. Set aside your expectation and go explore it.

2019's mantra:

I am whole.

I am learning.

I am letting go.

I am free.

I am talented and courageous.

I am protecting my joy.

I am brave.

I am healing.

I am loving myself unapologetically.

This evening, the deep lifted. I realized it is NOT my reality any longer. I saw, felt, and embodied all my growth progress, triumphs, and failures. I was truly able to see the path and the places I have traveled. And, I now hold so much gratitude for myself for making it through this process. I want to say thank you to everyone who has joined me in this space. Thank you to all the teachers, guides, friends, connections, all the social media likes and comments. To those who have held space for me, shared parts of themselves with me... You have contributed - and are still contributing - to my journey. I do not take that lightly. Here is to a new month. A new year. A new way of being. Here is to supporting each other through the joy and the challenges.

In closing, I wish to share the following words, that resonated so deeply with me:

Hearts Like Wildflowers

I hope you are blessed

with a heart like a wildflower.

Strong enough to rise again

after being trampled upon,

tough enough to weather

the worst of the summer storms,

and able to grow and flourish

even in the most broken places.

{Nikita Gill}

To the journey...